Have you ever felt pain in your chest? Numbness in your left arm? Exhaustion so deep you knew something was wrong, but fear kept you silent?
Heart disease is the number one killer of women in America and even a higher number for women of color. And yet, many of us don’t believe it will happen to us. We are conditioned to be everything for everyone — perfect wives, mothers, partners, professionals — while quietly neglecting ourselves. We push through fatigue. We minimize pain. We normalize stress. We don’t listen.
I didn’t.
Heart disease ran through my family like a shadow. My paternal grandmother, grandfather both died from heart disease. My father — the love of my first 32 years and still my heart today — died at 60 after his own battle with heart disease. I knew this history. Still, I believed it couldn’t be me. I was a dancer and model, I worked out, ate well. I thought discipline made me immune.
I was wrong.
After my father died, grief led me to a doctor. My blood pressure was 210/120 — dangerously high. I was prescribed medication and warned about heart attack and stroke. But I didn’t understand the danger. I didn’t take the medication as prescribed. I didn’t listen.
Three years later, on March 31, 2006, my body gave me no choice.
I had been exhausted for days — too tired to board a plane, too weak to explain why. After a brief period of rest, I convinced myself I was fine and went out with my husband and friends. Not long after arriving, I became nauseous. My ears rang. I started sweating. My vision blurred. The last thing I remember saying was, “I don’t feel so good.”
I woke up in the cardiac intensive care unit on April 1. April Fool’s Day — but this was no joke. I had suffered my first heart attack.
During a hospital test days later, my heart stopped. I went into asystole.
I woke up surrounded by doctors and nurses calling my name.
That moment changed everything.
Heart disease is called a silent killer, but I no longer believe it is silent. It speaks through fatigue, pain, intuition, and the concern of those who love us. We simply don’t listen — to our bodies, to our numbers, to our spirits. Heart disease is the leading cause of death among women in the United States, yet it is often underrecognized, misdiagnosed, or dismissed — especially in women of color. Black women are at significantly higher risk, developing heart disease earlier in life and experiencing higher mortality rates than their white counterparts. Symptoms in women often present differently than the classic chest pain, showing up instead as fatigue, shortness of breath, nausea, back or jaw pain, or unexplained anxiety. These differences, combined with systemic bias and delayed care, make education, early detection, and self-advocacy critical to saving women’s lives.
If you are reading this, it is not too late. Know your family history. Check your blood pressure. Pay attention to exhaustion. Don’t ignore the signs.
Above all, listen. Check out heart.org for more info. Be your best advocate and ask questions about your health. You are your best cheerleader for life.
